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"A true leader is not a searcher for consensus, but a molder of consensus" - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower" - Steve Jobs (founder of Apple, Inc.)

As between men and women, as a general rule, men should be the leaders. Now, before you feminists go out lambasting me and throwing all sorts of violent comments against me and X Arts as being a sexist group, hear me out. What I meant by "leaders" is that men should be the ones doing the leading in the field of flirting, and seduction.

It's true, we should be the one to initiate, and that does not only apply to making the approach, but it also applies to bringing the relationship into a higher level, touching, commitment, etc.

And this, as I found out, is the one big difference between guys who are really good with women - Real Men, and those who are not - Boys. Whereas Real Men lead, the Boys just wait. Whereas Real Men make the decision as soon as the need arises, and act on it without asking for permission; Boys do not act first without securing permission from somebody else.

Ryu! I don't understand you at all! Can you give me a concrete example of what you're talking about?

^ That's what somebody asked me when I told him this concept. So I said "Sure thing!".

An example would be waiting for women to react favorably before you escalate with them. To be very concrete about this, many guys actually look for IOI's (Indicators of Interest) first before giving their own IOI's or SOI's or doing kino on them. They wait for women to do something positive, something that gives them a go-signal to escalate or go sexual with them.

What they don't know is that, these women need a reason to do that. Women need a reason to give an IOI or even be sexual with the man they're with. They're waiting to be led. They won't lead you. Sometimes, they'll give out clues that they want to be led, but they won't lead as a general rule (there are aggressive women out there doing the leading, but that's the exception rather than the rule).

The Mindshift

My suggestion is, don't wait for them! Do what you're intending to do, now, and if it's wrong, just ask for an apology later. Instead for waiting to get permission, just do now, and ask for an apology later, in case you're wrong that is. If it isn't really going to be utterly devastating to her, then just do it, and then justify later.

If you wait for her, it's gonna take a really long time, if not forever, for her to give her permission. If you ask for permission, then most probably, she'll be fast to stop you, because she might get uncomfortable. But if you just went ahead and did it, she'll be hesitant to stop you, and probably feel comfortable if you just justify what you did. People are usually hesitant to stop something which has momentum.

So as applied above, instead of waiting for an IOI from her, do kino already! It isn't unnatural or weird, kino is natural, and so is socializing and conversing with people, even with strangers (we'll explain more of this in the upcoming articles). If she feels uncomfortable with your kino, then step back. Nothing was lost anyway. At least you led.

So everytime you find yourself asking "Should I do this or not?", you tell yourself "Okay put your name here, let's see what happens when we do this."

Be a Real Man, not just a mere Boy. Be the ALPHA, not the BETA. Lead now, and don't wait for her permission. Just ask for an apology, or step back later, if need be... at least that also increases your recovery ability. Be assertive. Be ALPHA.

Also read BEING THE FIRESTARTER, which is very related to how to become a Real Man.


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