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"He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of a diplomat" - Robert Estabrook

"If you can’t go around it, over it, or through it, you had better negotiate with it." - Ashleigh Brilliant

My friend and fellow Wolf Popo decided to give X Arts a little gift. On his 100th post, in the X Arts Forum, he shared a valuable skillset, one that is not only useful in seduction, but more so ineveryday life. So let me share below what he shared with the premier seduction community in the Philippines...

Sleight of Mouth Patterns

So what is a sleight of mouth pattern? 

Basically the originator, Robert Dilts, noticed that whenever when someone argued with the co-founder of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Richard Bandler, no one seemed to win. He also noticed that there was a pattern on how he would argue. It also inspired him to look at other great persuaders and leaders on how they counter arguments. Originally this was meant to counter limiting beliefs of people, but eventually, it has expanded to sales and persuasion.

What it is not

  • One-line zingers that will change a person's opinion completely, although one line may be enough to move their perspective from "Victim Mentality" to "Maybe-I-can-do-something-about-it Mentality", which is of course, a better place to be in.
  • Weird NLP mumbo-jumbo that makes you creepy. This is very natural and your parents, girlfriend, best friend, boss, etc... could be doing this to you already even if you're not aware of it. You yourself could be using these patterns unconsciously, without being aware of it.

How will these patterns benefit you?

Use this properly and you can make a person doubt his beliefs. You can also persuade them to follow you as some cultists use these patterns as well. 
Personally, I have been using these patterns for 3 months already and it certainly has changed the outcome of many conversations I've had with family and friends. I don't want to make this sound like it will give you super powers because it won't but you have to consider if changing someone's perspective or idea is beneficial to the person or not. So be ethical when using these patterns.

How to use them

Chain them together, rinse, repeat. Sometimes once is enough, but usually a combo is needed. Rapport is important when using these patterns because if there is no rapport, it will just turn into an argument.

There are a total of 14 patterns (some would argue 15 or 16). I will only give you 4 patterns but you can then continue your journey and find out more if this interests you.

Pattern 1: Meta-frame Pattern

Ask yourself this question: "What must he believe in, in order for him to think that statement is true?"


Him: This company sucks all the people who sell are the ones that the boss likes. There is favoritism here, and the people that the boss likes are the ones that get good leads and succeed.

Obviously this person wants to succeed but is stuck at being a victim. 


You: Where did you learn that successful people are liked by their bosses? Or that it's important for you to be successful?

Pattern 2: Consequence Pattern 

Just ask them: "What would happen if they keep on believing that idea or that thought?"


GF: You're late again, which only means you don't really love and care for me.

Counter: What do you think will happen to us if you believe in that?

GF: Well, we would fight and we would most likely break up, then it would be sad.

You: Do you want that to happen?

GF: No.

You: Then don't say that =)

Pattern 3: Model of the World Pattern

Argue that they are saying their statement as a metaphor for something else.


Best Friend: I'm such a loser that everybody hates me now because of the mistake I did at that party.

You: Everyone hates you? You mean the people in China hate you? What about that guy over there sweeping the floor... does he hate you too?

Best Friend: Hahaha, Well, not everyone hates me I guess, it would most likely be 2 people.

Pattern 4: Counter Example Pattern

Dad: Going out with your friends is just a waste of time. You should stay at home and study.

You: Have you ever done something that other people think is not productive yet you know deep inside of you, that it's meaningful or worth it?

Dad: Well yeah. I love golf but people think it's boring.

You: So going out with my friends is not a waste of time. It just seems that way to you because we have different tastes, just like how other people see golf as boring =)

There you have it! I know it's a long read but it's worth it. Once you are aware of these patterns the fun starts and you can watch for it on television. Politicians and Religious Leaders like to use these a lot. You can see this also in some comedy shows.

All the best!


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