AttraXion Arts

"There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis." - Malcolm Gladwell, from his best-selling book Blink: the Power of Thinking without Thinking

"Put Yourself on Deathground Mode - Act Before You're Ready." - Robert Greene, from his best-selling book The 33 Strategies of War

"It's better to Aim, Fire, Ready than to Ready, Aim, Fire!" - David DeAngelo, owner of the Million Dollar Empire Double Your Dating

Many men had experienced this before - they see a gorgeous woman they'd like to meet, but then they don't have what it takes to approach that woman, even if the opportunity is perfect; or even if they do have the guts to approach the woman, they spend a lot of time thinking about what to say to her that it paralyzes them to the point of inaction, and then the opportunity passes them by. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

For the purposes of this article, we will focus only on the second instance. Most men I know usually think of what to say and even how to say it before approaching a woman. Now don't get me wrong, it's natural for us to think (and by think, I mean THINK HARD!) before approaching, as we want our every move to be perfect. Besides, haste makes waste. However, the same act of thinking that could lead to great pick up success, would also hinder you from having a very good approach.

Another thing - striving for perfection, almost never leads to perfection, so stop expecting your approach to be perfect.

What Should We Think About Then?

Yes, there are certain things that you should think about before doing any approach, and these are:

• The vibe and logistics of the set
• Your own vibe and logistics
• General context and circumstances of the situation
• How to get her attention and your opener

This does not apply only to cold approaches, it also applies to any type of approach. You won't approach your boss when he's in a bad mood, would you?

In any case, these are not a lot to think about actually, unless you're after their money or something (haha!). However, there's too much thinking that goes on in most of the approaches that I see, so much so that it interferes with what they usually have to say and do to a set. I call this "unnecessary thinking".

Unnecessary Thinking

So what constitutes unnecessary thinking? Usually, thinking of what you should say in every situation or response that she would do or say after you have said your opener and are already in the middle of the conversation would constitute unnecessary thinking. There are a lot of scenarios that could crop up during your interaction with her, that it would take a lot of time to think of every possible answer to every scenario. By then, the vibe and logistics of the set would have changed, and you're back to thinking mode again by the time you've decided to take action.

It's better to just drop your agenda and focus on the shift of her vibe while conversing with her, because you'll have a better conversation that way. Don't focus on what you need to say, but rather, focus on her, and the conversation would automatically gravitate towards what you need to say to her. In other words:

"Don't let your agenda get in the way of having a great interaction with her."

You are Your Own Worst Enemy

Focusing on what you need to say to her blocks out your mind in being creative and imaginative, and in naturally bringing up other points of interest to discuss with her. It makes the interaction robotic, unnatural, unspontaneous, and less interesting.

If you focus on her rather than on yourself, it would be hard for you to run out of things to say to her. As long as you have a macro-goal, there's no need to think of every specific detail on how the interaction should proceed. Your subconscious mind would naturally make the interaction shift towards your macro-goal if you just focus on her, and your macro-goal. Besides, 90% of the time, what you thought that you need to say to her, don't get followed... because the interaction usually steers towards a different topic of conversation.

The Mindshift

Instead of thinking of what to say to her when this or that happens... your mindset should be:

"Let's see what happens when we approach her and do THIS."

THIS - refers to your Attention-Getter and Opener.

There's only so much to think of before taking action. Relax, let go, and let your natural and spontaneous interactive self do its thing. Your mind is more powerful than you think it is, so don't limit and underestimate it.

In other words... STOP THINKING TOO MUCH! NERD! :)

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