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Home Articles Seduction Having Presence: How to Separate Yourself from the Pack:
Having Presence: How to Separate Yourself from the Pack: PDF Print E-mail
Written by Ryu X   
Sunday, 27 February 2011 23:15

15_seconds_of_fame
"If one cannot command attention by one's admirable qualities, one can at least be a nuisance."
- Margery Allingham, English Writer (1889 - 1996)

In the world of human beings, there's one commodity that every person needs, and if you take it away from him/her for a long time, though he/she will not die, he/she may kill him/herself, or he/she may "die", meaning, cease to have any meaningful existence.

It's more important than food, water, shelter, clothing. I even think this is the most important and necessary commodity any person would want to have, so he/she can have a meaningful existence.

In order to have this commodity, people want to be famous and be popular. Heck, people go on hunger strikes, fasting, initiate wars, kill people, rape people, expose themselves as the mastermind behind certain crimes, forego food and become anorexic, take drugs, be alcoholic, set legacies, audition to become TV actors and actresses, appear in television commercials, do magic, get really good at sports, leave home, make computer viruses, troll at internet forums, etc.

People even make an ass of themselves to have this commodity. Some, make fun of themselves just to have this commodity. It's also the reason why the show "15 Seconds to Fame" became successful.

In fact, in the seduction community, people do peacocking, cocky funny, negs, magic routines, magic tricks, cold reading, palm reading, kino, dance tricks, just to have this commodity.

What is this very important and necessary commodity then?

It's this thing called ATTENTION.

The Importance of Attention in an Interaction

In any interaction, the first thing you need to consider, is not the icebreaker, nor the opener nor the pick up line, not even how to deliver your pick up line or whatever. The very first thing you need to consider, is how to get her attention.

The reason for that is because, neither the opener, nor the pick up line, nor the icebreaker matters if you did not have her attention the moment you said or delivered it. It doesn't matter because it didn't reach her ears. If she didn't hear it, it doesn't matter. Maybe she heard it, but if you didn't get her attention, she didn't understand it, nor she didn't know that it was for her. So the first step you need to consider really is, how to get her attention.

Actually, getting her attention does not only apply to cold approach situations, it also applies in warm approaches. The real reason you need to get her attention, is because you want to separate yourself from the pack, so that you don't just become any random guy she met or she talked to.

Take this example for instance... if you're planning on having a meaningful interaction with a hired gun, say a saleslady, you'll realize that opening her, or breaking the ice with her, is not difficult. All you need to do, is to hang around the store where she is at long enough, and she'll automatically be the one to attend to you, because it's her job.

Now, does that mean you have separated yourself from the pack when you've done that? No, you're just 1 of 5000 men she assisted that day. There's nothing special about you, nor your interaction with her, that would make you stand out from the crowd. And that's where you'll need a good attention-getter.

If you have commanded attention, you know, you already got your foot in the door.

Commanding Attention

Social dynamics and social interactions are very natural and normal for us human beings. We were born to socialize and interact with each other. Social interactions are nothing special. It's something we should be doing naturally and normally. However, getting anyone's attention in any social interaction, is much harder. Sometimes it's easy to get someone's attention if his/her frame is weak, but it's always better to have a powerful presence and thus, be able to command attention and not just get it.

separate_yourself
Commanding attention is all about separating yourself from the pack. That means, doing things that is not done by a lot of people. That means, doing things that are unusual and extraordinary. That means, having some things that not a lot of people have. That means, living a life that few people have lived. That also means, being somebody, that only a few people can be.

Specific Ways of Commanding Attention

As I've said above, peacocking is a form of commanding attention. Now, the real reason why peacocking works, is not because you got a colorful dress or suit, or that black nails are attractive. It's because it commands attention. Any guy who's in an outrageous outfit having tons of bling blings and earrings is sure bound to attract attention. Whether that attention is positive or negative is a different matter altogether.

sexually_fit_body
An alpha, solid, stable and impeccable body language and movement commands attention - another reason why you should work on your body language. Having an alpha, confident and impeccable body language would actually do wonders because, coupled with a solid vibe and aura, you will be able to command attention without even saying a word.

Another way of commanding attention is being good-looking, or looking good. That's the reason why good looking people have it easy, they can command attention easily, since a lot of people are not really good-looking. You can read Sexual Fitness: Good-Looking vs. Looking Good, to know more about sexual fitness.

having_a_pivot_haha
Having a pivot - a beautiful wingwoman works, for the simple reason that she attracts attention. Since she's with you, then you're guilty by association with her, and thus, will have a commanding presence as well.

Other ways of commanding attention include being adventurous, spontaneous, cocky funny, just plain funny, doing negs, doing magic tricks, having the ability to do cold reading, dancing really really good, etc. They work because not a lot of people know how to do these things above.

Having an awesome, exciting and adventurous lifestyle is also a good way of commanding attention. Not a lot of people have a very colorful life, that's why when you got this covered, you'll have it easier to command attention.

The point is, you should have a lot of things going on in your life and attitude, that it would be easier for you to command attention than most ordinary folks can. If you're able to do that, have that, and be that, then you know, you're 1 up against all other folks competing for the same woman you're desiring.

Commanding Attention vs. Being an Attention-Whore

attention_whore
Now, when you're doing all your best to command attention, there's a risk of you being a "circus clown" or "dancing monkey" just to get that attention, and instead of having positive effects on your attractiveness scale, you end up looking like an attention-whore and instead, create the opposite effect.

Take negs for instance, if you don't deliver this right, you'll end up insulting the woman more, and then instead of getting hooked on you, she dismisses you altogether - not a good sign.

Or peacocking, if you don't know how to do it right, you'll look like a clown or a walking christmas tree gone horribly wrong. Yeah, you'll get attention, but not for the right reason.

So work on having a powerful presence and commanding attention, but avoid looking like an attention-whore.

How to Avoid being Attention-Whore

First, you need to find out if what you're doing attracts attention, or not, or you just look like you're attention-whoring. One way of finding out is by practicing on the field what commands attention, and what makes you look like an attention-whore. Through trial and error, and experience... over time you'll get a "feel" for what is attention-commanding, what looks like attention-whoring, and what doesn't attract any attention at all. This could take a very long time, and could even do irreversible damage to your image if you got it terribly wrong. And there's even no guarantee you'll get the right balance.

Another way, which is definitely easier and could cut your learning time by 80%, is having someone to teach you and guide you through what works or not. That's where a Coach comes in. And there's only 1 real place to go when it comes to coaching --> X Arts Training

Hope you learned a lot from this article. Until next time people!

 


 

3 vampires seen inside a bar

Rich Vampire: Bartender! Let me have some fresh blood please.
Ordinary Vampire: I'd like to have some dinuguan please.
Poor Vampire: I'd like to have some hot water please.
Waiter: For what?
Poor Vampire: I just picked up a sanitary napkin outside. I'll just use it to make tea. Laughing
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